Circles Ov Hell

Circles Ov Hell

Nine Circles Of Hell

This list is constantly being revised, although the majority of the residents of my nine circles of hell are constants. Sometimes, I need to squeeze an extra load of people in, which results in say, 5, 6 and 7 being amalgamated as they usually fall into one or more of these categories. Of course category 3 is a handy catch all for anyone who may slip through the net. However, they’re all going to burn in hell, in varying degrees of pain for all eternity. So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ScandalAndADisgrace Nine Circles Of Hell (illustration below);

1) Poets
2) Mimes, jugglers and associated street ‘entertainers’
3) Heretics (which is basically anyone who disagrees with me on matters of importance, such as me being right and them being wrong)
4) Politicians
5) Students
6) Hippies
7) People who undertake stupid ‘sports’ (includes every kind of sport that requires water except swimming but including the butterfly stroke, which is just stupid, anything involving horses, apart from horse racing, golf, motor racing (we get it – you can go fast), climbing anything, trampolining (unless you are trying to escape from a prison or angry husband/wife/gangster, tennis, badminton and any other racquet sport. Full list available for a fee of 5 of Her Majestys Great British Pounds)
8) People who appear on reality TV
9) The French


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